Monday, 17 November 2008

Pro-Evolution Pink Edition

Nintendo have taken their all-inclusive attitude to gaming to ditzy new heights with the unveiling of this Christmases must have game for women. Pro-Evolution Soccer - Pink Edition, is a computer game following the cut-throat world of being a footballer's WAG (Wife / Gay Partner)

The game features famous people such as Cheryl Cole, Louise from Eternal and John Barnes sleazy lover Malcolm Eaves.

The early levels consist of navigating your character through a series of tacky Essex night Clubs, working your way up from minor fumblings with D-List celebrities like Dean Gaffney, towards full penetrative sex with a goal-keeper from the lower leagues. There are a variety of weapons at the players disposal such as boob-jobs, botox and steamy press shots.

Once your character has snared her man the Nintendo Wi's motion sensitive controller really comes into it's own where you're forced into increasingly humiliating acts in the bedroom in order to keep the relationship progressing towards the holy grail, the wedding.

The developers of the game have introduced a clever twist using the internet. Your character is able to spectate real matches being played on the regular version of Pro-Evolution soccer, from the wife's enclosure in the ground. The game footage is completely scrambled to represent the confusion that takes place inside the minds of the real footballer's wives while watching a game.

The real WAGs have been quick to comment on the news. Eileen Fashanu has been quoted as saying. "What's them to computer. Is able to talk? Thanks."

So, will it be a hit or a miss? I for one plan on spending Christmas morning shaking my controller up and down staring deep into the eyes of a naked Gary Mabbut.


Gary Mabbut said...

Shake your controller anywhere near me sunshine and I will make sure you never Wi standing up again!

Anonymous said...

I am footballs wives and I think this is not enough of behaviour! In Russia actual footballs might not so big, but wives enjoy much class way of living.

Just Saturday ago (example), I and friends must by invite go and open new film studio. We even get part in first movie of which we did not need clothes.

What is Wii? This is like hula hoop ?